Children's Time During Christmas Eve Service

Pastor: Mary was afraid of the angel. Does anyone know why she was afraid?

Little Girl: Because she was pregnant but not married?

Expiring Starbursts

Yesterday, I noticed that Starburst packages have an expiration date on them. Starbursts never expire; they just become Now and Laters.

From my textbook:

Nailclipping

Does anyone else clench their teeth while clipping fingernails?

Doh! There Was a Sticker

JAPAN! Part juu nana: Funny Japanese Translations

 

Click on them to make them bigger if you can't read them.
They're quality.

Salad Bars

JAPAN! Part juu roku

 

"I'm so favorite for Sugar..."

That Scared the Carp Out of Me!

The Difference Between Little Kids Playing Video Games and College Kids

Word mashups 2

Humuggity
Ingredients: Humidity+muggy
Definition: You know. Those days that are so humuggity that you fear going outside.

Clapter
Ingredients: Clap+laughter
Definition: Applause and laughter at a performance--which is the best gift you can give a performer.

Use The Force!

From a CNN article about pirates off the coast of Somalia:

I think he's watched too much Star Wars

Science Worksheet

There's a worksheet in my science class on dating relatives...

Why Are Bags of Chips Already Half Eaten When I Open Them?

Signs I Use Technology Too Much

1. While studying, instead of using a glossary I try to use ctrl+F so I can find stuff quickly, only to find it doesn't exist in real life.

2. While writing things out (by hand!) I wonder why there's no red squiggly under something I know I spelled wrong.

3. I check my real mail box several times a day, hoping mail comes when someone sends it, instead of only once a day.

Inguaranteeable

 

I invented that word, and Camdoe is the only spot on the internet where it is used. Pretty freaking awesome.

Flow Chart of Capture the Flag

Oxymoron

Monopoly
Mono=one
Poly=many

College

I've found that if I'm just caught up with a class, then I'm behind. Sooner or later I'm going to have a really big reading assignment or project or paper that is going to kick the snot out of my sittin' around time. I have to work ahead to stay on time, which stinks because procrastination is my forte.

JAPAN! Part juu go

Dragon Ball Z is pretty exciting.

A Thought About Tools

AIM Conversations and Endless Pauses

Imagine for a moment you are having a serious face-to-face conversation with a friend sitting on couches in your living room. Mid-sentence, he stands, walks out of your house and drives away. You sit, staring at the couch where he was sitting, waiting for some sort of closure. After perhaps five minutes, you go and find something else to do, perhaps a bit miffed. Two hours later, your door opens, your friend walks in, sits on your couch and finishes the sentence he started two hours before, not caring whether you're sitting there or not.

Why do we let it happen online but not in real life?

Election Facebook Statuses

I found it hilarious about how worked up everyone was last night. It was a historic night, and, depending on who you wanted to win, it was either great or a major bummer. But I was surprised by the election fervor I saw when I went on facebook:





CLICK TO ENLARGE

I'm not saying you have you like Obama, but I do think people should respect the will of the people and quit whining. Elections are what democracy is all about. Sometimes people in a democracy need to compromise, and other times people need to admit defeat altogether. That's how it works. And you know what is so great about America? If Obama sucks it up in the White House, we can elect a new leader in just four years! So everyone just relax. But I'm pretty sure things can't get any worse, than they are right now.

An Apology

So, I don't know if you remember me, but I used to post on this blog a lot. The idea for this blog has been, and always will be Cam and me putting up whatever we feel like. And this includes putting up nothing at all. That is what I have done for quite some time, and I hope you can forgive me. I'm sorry I haven't posted for so long, and I am going to start posting again.

That being said, I have proved once and for all that I am the greatest procrastinator in history! I know you're thinking to yourself, "Well, Scott, there's no way you are a better procrastinator than I! How long did you put off posting?" Seventy-nine days, buddy. Count them. I just never felt like it, so I just didn't. If you have ever come close to procrastinating for seventy-nine days, I recommend you tell me about it in the comments section.

Indiansas

Weird... I got my absentee ballot for the state of Indiana, with a Kansas stamp (click on it to see better)

Musicals

For over a half-hour last night, Mike and I sang everything we said to one another, as though we were in an opera or musical. It was amazing. If you need some laughs, and don't care if strangers stare at you, go sing. Sing everything. It doesn't matter if you can't sing (like me), just do it, and you'll have fun. Have conversations with people in song. Sing about ANYTHING that is going on. I promise you will have fun.

Unfortunately we didn't have a video camera, or I would have shared with you some of our classics such as: "This is the First Time I've Worn Jeans Since 8th Grade," "Is it OK if We're Late to this Party?" "Why Did You Carry This Tree Around?" and finally, "It is Hard to Sing at this Fast Waltz Tempo"

Way to leave my options open

 

Well, I guess I have no choice...

JAPAN! Part juu yon

Let me translate:

Alcohol Tobacco

Bank ATM
I'm glad they have their priorities straight.

*shakes head*

JAPAN! Part juu san

Dang, vending machines are popular in Japan. 8 in a row! And there's a guy on top!

JAPAN! Part juu ni

Please refrain from the inside of a store eating and drinking.

To-do Lists

I find that if I don't make to-do lists, I have a lot more free time.

Are there two different factories with different ingredients?

Why do some Reese's Peanut Butter Cups taste better than other ones? The ones I just ate were awesome, but the ones I ate yesterday sucked.

This one's subpar.

subpar: adj.
1. Not measuring up to traditional standards of performance, value, or production.
2. Below par in a hole, round, or game of golf.

To get below par is to be above the standard of performance.

I believe subpar is an inherently self-contradictory word.

Uh. This needs to stop.

Ok, that's my bed. That's my roommate's pillow and his blanket on my bed. I was gone for the weekend and when I came back, I found his stuff on my bed. What the heck?! WHO SLEEPS ON SOMEONE ELSE'S BED WHEN HIS BED IS LESS THAN 10 FEET AWAY?! And he's not here to complain to, so I'm complaining at you!

Gum

The lazy-man's toothbrush.

Sleeptalking

So. I was informed that during my nap today, I asked my roommate how many kangaroos there are in Provo, Utah.
Thrice.

Word mashups

There are lots of common word mashups (ginormous, huge-antic et cetera) but I've discovered some that aren't yet in wide use. I'm hoping to expand their usage by posting them here.

Annoxious
Ingredients: Annoying+obnoxious
Definition: Absurdly bothersome.

Factricate
Ingredients: Fact+Fabricate
Definition: When you say something that sounds like a fact, so you pretend it is. Sometimes these factrications can be the basis of discussions for classes or just debates between friends. The key is to never let anyone know you made it up.

There are more, but none are coming to mind right now.

JAPAN! Part juu ichi

This place was full of gems.

 

  

  

  

 

Woah, that's a mess.

I hope you believe me: this is not my side of the room.

Newton's Third Law

You know how we exert force on the earth every time we walk... what if we got the entire world's population to walk in the same direction at once. Would that be enough force to cause the world's rotation to speed up? Or maybe we could stop the earth from spinning! That would be so crazy. It could throw us all out of orbit and then we'd go flying and it would be crazy cool!

New milestone!

194 posts.

Where are you USB 2.0?

I guess you forget what you have until it's gone.

I love and miss you, USB 2.0

JAPAN! Part juu

Mister Donut:

Too bad the donuts aren't as good as the name.

JAPAN! Part kyuu

Big Buddha is well named

Toys

Sometimes, I spend more time tearing open the freaking hard-plastic packaging than I do playing with something.

JAPAN! Part hachi

 

There's no way they're getting out of this parking lot.

JAPAN! Part nana

Akihabara

JAPAN! Part roku

People Dating?

Do South Dakotans date things other than people?

Extravaganza

If you're going to put an X and a Z in a word, it better be good.

Urinals

 

There are two rules you don't break:

1. NEVER stand next to a someone using a urinal to use the adjacent one (unless you are part of a line of three or more people waiting to have an open one). Meaning there should always be a pattern of used-unused-used-unused unless in at a place like an airport or stadium, and lots of people are there. And

2. NEVER talk to the person next to you while using the urinal. Never.

Bears

I saw grizzly bears in Yellowstone crossing the street.

They looked both ways.

Proofs of Purchase

Uhh... have you ever seen a proof of purchase?

This was inside a DVD.

I could have stolen it, and still had Proof of Purchase.
You shouldn't leave your proof of purchase inside a steal-able item.

Pretty cool.

The Future

Michael Phelps

Instant Messaging Etiquette

Do not use icons that make noise or are overly annoying.

Don't be annoying. It's not that hard. And no pitty parties either. "Ohh, I guess you're too busy to talk to me."

Try to actually make conversation. Don't just respond with one word answers. On the other hand, if someone is talking to you like that, they may be too busy to talk or just might not want to talk to you. Take the hint even though they are being rude.

One smiley limit per conversation.

If a conversation dies, you can close the IM box, but you must say good bye if the last IM was within thirteen minutes of signing off of IM that way the person you're talking to doesn't feel like you're being rude.

At least make an attempt at spelling.

Strict five abbreviation (lol, brb, omg) limit per conversation.

Use colors that hurt the eyes sparingly.

If you have one of those viruses that send out links, tell people, so they don't actually click on it!

If you are leaving for longer than three mintues, you should let the other person know. A collective away message that says "brb" does not count.

If someone doesn't respond to you, perhaps they forgot an away message, aren't there, or don't want to talk. It's not a big deal. Talk to them later. Do not leave messages that say something to the effect of "you suck for not being here butthead!"

Say good bye when you are leaving for good. Don't just go. You wouldn't just walk away from a face to face conversation without letting the people know.

Mosquito Obituary

A Life Lost Too Soon

Anne Oing, beloved mother and sister mosquito, was killed yesterday while attempting to get food for her family. Oing died of blunt force trauma to every part of her body after she landed on a male human and attempted to take some of his blood. The human then crushed Anne Oing with his paw. He then flicked Anne onto the ground. Only small parts of her body were recovered.

"She was a great lady. She loved to fly and drink blood. It's so sad. It was too soon for her to go. I'm going to miss her a lot," Anne's son Bo Thersome Oing said of her death.

Anne Oing leaves behind more than 9000 children. 134 of her children have been killed in similar hunting accidents. Her family will be holding a closed casket visitation on August 10, at 3:00 in the swamp.

How to Feel Really Manly #4

Man Hugs Require Large Amounts of Back Slapping

Billiards

Sometimes I play pool. It's a fun game, but I'm not very good at it. I don't know all the rules, and sometimes I think people take advantage of me by not telling them to me. That's okay though. The one thing I don't understand is the chalk. Whenever I'm struggling, I walk over and put a little chalk on the end of my pool cue as though the lack of chalk is the reason for me not sinking the shots. I view this chalk as some sort of "magic fairy dust" that improves my game. I don't think very many people know the exact reason for this, and if you do, maybe you should spend a little less time in your basement playing pool.

JAPAN! Part go

Chopsticks and steak are not friends.

Minnesota

Movie Review: The Dark Knight

I recently saw the new Batman movie, and I must say, I loved it. It was a truly amazing movie. Of course, everyone already knows that it is a great movie. I don't need to tell you about the amazing storyline, Heath Ledger's stunning performance, or the action-packed action scenes because you already know all that. In fact, the greatness of this movie is so well documented and so well categorized that I will instead focus on the intensity of its greatness.

This movie is fantastic and fantastical. It is crazy good, freaky good, freakin' good, and too good at the same time. It is divine, legendary, sensational, terrific, superb, wonderful, and, dare I say, scrumtrelecent. It stands as a testament to adjectives everywhere, so that they can aspire to describe nouns as amazing as this movie.

This movie is a feast for your mind. It is like Thanksgiving for every meal for forty-two years, but it does not include the annoying relatives, the inevitable weight gain, or that feeling you get when you eat way too much food that it becomes painful. And it's chalk full of action around every turn!

Aside from being an exciting cinematic adventure, this movie is a piece of artwork laid out on IMAX. If Monalisa and the statue of David were to have a movie-baby, it would be this movie...except that when it was done being beautiful, it would beat up all the criminals in the world. It should be put on display in every art museum in the world. This would inevitably cause people to actually go to art museums willingly.

That is all I have to say. I really liked this movie. You should go see it. Believe all the hype and get excited because this movie cannot let you down.

JAPAN! Part yon

Japan is 10 years late!

They`re just now getting boy bands!

I think.

China Picture

Why Bother Washing Your Feet at the Beach?

Why bother washing your feet at the beach? You clean them off, but then your clean wet feet are in the middle of a minefield of sand!

JAPAN! Part san

Dude, all of today I listened to the radio in Japan. And they played Electric Light Orchestra`s "Twilight". That`s a 27 year old song by a semi-obscure British band. What the heck?

FedEx Trucks

Have you ever noticed how the FedEx trucks have an arrow between the E and the x?