Extravaganza

If you're going to put an X and a Z in a word, it better be good.

Urinals

 

There are two rules you don't break:

1. NEVER stand next to a someone using a urinal to use the adjacent one (unless you are part of a line of three or more people waiting to have an open one). Meaning there should always be a pattern of used-unused-used-unused unless in at a place like an airport or stadium, and lots of people are there. And

2. NEVER talk to the person next to you while using the urinal. Never.

Bears

I saw grizzly bears in Yellowstone crossing the street.

They looked both ways.

Proofs of Purchase

Uhh... have you ever seen a proof of purchase?

This was inside a DVD.

I could have stolen it, and still had Proof of Purchase.
You shouldn't leave your proof of purchase inside a steal-able item.

Pretty cool.

The Future

Michael Phelps

Instant Messaging Etiquette

Do not use icons that make noise or are overly annoying.

Don't be annoying. It's not that hard. And no pitty parties either. "Ohh, I guess you're too busy to talk to me."

Try to actually make conversation. Don't just respond with one word answers. On the other hand, if someone is talking to you like that, they may be too busy to talk or just might not want to talk to you. Take the hint even though they are being rude.

One smiley limit per conversation.

If a conversation dies, you can close the IM box, but you must say good bye if the last IM was within thirteen minutes of signing off of IM that way the person you're talking to doesn't feel like you're being rude.

At least make an attempt at spelling.

Strict five abbreviation (lol, brb, omg) limit per conversation.

Use colors that hurt the eyes sparingly.

If you have one of those viruses that send out links, tell people, so they don't actually click on it!

If you are leaving for longer than three mintues, you should let the other person know. A collective away message that says "brb" does not count.

If someone doesn't respond to you, perhaps they forgot an away message, aren't there, or don't want to talk. It's not a big deal. Talk to them later. Do not leave messages that say something to the effect of "you suck for not being here butthead!"

Say good bye when you are leaving for good. Don't just go. You wouldn't just walk away from a face to face conversation without letting the people know.

Mosquito Obituary

A Life Lost Too Soon

Anne Oing, beloved mother and sister mosquito, was killed yesterday while attempting to get food for her family. Oing died of blunt force trauma to every part of her body after she landed on a male human and attempted to take some of his blood. The human then crushed Anne Oing with his paw. He then flicked Anne onto the ground. Only small parts of her body were recovered.

"She was a great lady. She loved to fly and drink blood. It's so sad. It was too soon for her to go. I'm going to miss her a lot," Anne's son Bo Thersome Oing said of her death.

Anne Oing leaves behind more than 9000 children. 134 of her children have been killed in similar hunting accidents. Her family will be holding a closed casket visitation on August 10, at 3:00 in the swamp.

How to Feel Really Manly #4

Man Hugs Require Large Amounts of Back Slapping

Billiards

Sometimes I play pool. It's a fun game, but I'm not very good at it. I don't know all the rules, and sometimes I think people take advantage of me by not telling them to me. That's okay though. The one thing I don't understand is the chalk. Whenever I'm struggling, I walk over and put a little chalk on the end of my pool cue as though the lack of chalk is the reason for me not sinking the shots. I view this chalk as some sort of "magic fairy dust" that improves my game. I don't think very many people know the exact reason for this, and if you do, maybe you should spend a little less time in your basement playing pool.

JAPAN! Part go

Chopsticks and steak are not friends.