Friday, February 15, 2008

Classic Doebler: May 1, 2006

Procrastination: Great Idea or The Greatest Idea

I was working on my English research paper, so I could turn it in and get a ridiculously large amount of extra credit...And by working I mean I was playing Bejeweled. Anyway, I started thinking that maybe procrastination isn't such a good idea. You see, there's a point that you reach when you've put all your work off for so long that you don't have any choice but to spend an entire day working on it to make up for all the Bejeweled you've been playing. And right off the bat, what is it about big projects that makes all the due dates always line up on the same day? Every time, that's the way it is no matter what.

But then I started thinking, "Hey wait a minute. Procrastination rocks" (Doebler 12). As far as I'm concerned, it doesn't matter when you do your homework as long as it gets done. I'm going to spend twenty minutes on my chemistry whether I do it on Tuesday after school or on Friday morning before class starts or on Friday morning during English class or on Friday morning in the passing periods.

Also, working against a deadline is when some of the greatest inventions in history happened. Think about World War II. More inventions were invented by inventors during World War II than during any other time in human history. Look it up. Some of you might say, "I looked that up, and....it's wrong" (Douche 4) No, it isn't. You're wrong. In fact, you're retarded.

During the Cold War, we were competing against communists in the Space Race. We won that race. Come to think of it, we clobbered them. You know why? It's because we totally were spacing off during the fifties (probably playing Bejeweled) while the commies were developing Sputnik and shooting it into orbit. When we realized they did that we were like: "OH F***!" (America 1957). And then we tried really hard to made up for it and look what happened. We are the only remaining super power in the world. We the greatest economy, the greatest military, and we are the only country to ever visit the moon and play golf. All because we procrastinated.

One other thing, I’m really getting tired of pennies. Every time I say this someone has to chime in and say something to the effect of: “Oh yeah, well…my cousin had a jar of pennies and he cashed it in and it was like twenty bucks!” (Douche 9). Okay. But I have a one dollar bill that’s worth twenty dollars, and it doesn’t weigh thirty pounds.


Work Cited
America, United States of. A History of Pwning N00bs: Fascists, Communists, and Terrorists. New York: Where Else Do They Publish Books Publishing Company, 1989.

Doebler. Yesterday’s Thoughts: Volume 2. Valparaiso: Awesome Publishing Company, 2006.

Bag, Douche. Annoying Things People Shouldn’t Say But Do. New York: Humor Ruiner Publishing Inc., 2001.

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1 comment:

Tyrannosaurus said...

i wish you could explain that to my teachers!