Eraser

I just love the feeling of a brand new eraser on a brand new mechanical pencil. It removes mistakes without leaving a trace. No smudges, smears or messes. It's beautiful. Nobody will know I messed up.

Truly, the simplest things in life are the most delightful.

Great Feeling

It feels so good when you text precisely what you want to say in exactly the way you want to say it and then when you check to see how long it is you hit exactly 160 characters.

Accounting

I'm so grateful for the masochists who choose to major in Accounting so I won't have to do my own accounting when I rule the world.

Apples to oranges

Comparing apples

to oranges

really shouldn't be taboo.
They're actually pretty similar.

Similarities:

Food

Fruit

Roundish

Yummy

Can make juice out of them

Grow on trees

Are picked by people on ladders.

See? They are actually very much alike. I don't know why the expression "that's like comparing comparing apples to oranges" is used when someone talks about putting dissimilar items in the same category.

Instead of simply complaining about a problem in the universe, I will offer several solutions:

"That's like comparing apples

to

airplanes."

or

"That's like comparing apples

to

piles of books."

or

"That's like comparing apples

to

70s rock bands."

or

"That's like comparing apples

to

video game consoles from the 1990s."

There are countless other items that are much more dissimilar from apples than oranges.

Whoever picked oranges as the contrast to apples is a fool.

Night Noises

What the heck makes all those sounds in the middle of the night when no one else is around or awake?

Texans

I bet they were not happy in 1959 when Alaska came in and beat them for biggest state.

But they still have the biggest egos.

From most to least fun:

Laundry
Ingesting forks
Calculus

Are there two different factories with different ingredients?

Why do some Reese's Peanut Butter Cups taste better than other ones? The ones I just ate were awesome, but the ones I ate yesterday sucked.

Discrimination!

Discrimination/persecution of an individual based on race = Racism
Discrimination/persecution of an individual based on sex = Sexism
Discrimination/persecution of an individual based on religion = uhhh... mean?

Seriously? what word should I use here?

Haha, Mrs. Clinton. That was a good try.

I got this in the mail. And I tore it to shreds.

Metaphorically.

I kept it in tact so I could share with all of you.

Click on them to make them bigger, perhaps you can read my handwriting, then.


Seriously, though. Universal health care is not a brilliant idea. It's not that I'm against people being taken care of, but I'm against making everyone pay for the people who don't get their own elsewhere... that's like... silly. So, I get mine from Company X, and you might get yours from Firm Y, but he can't afford either one of those (and yes, it's expensive) so we (who are already paying for our OWN health care are taxed to pay for HIS! Yay Socialism!
Oh, and have you heard of the waiting lists in Canada?

Unnoticed

Does anyone else wonder if what they did ever happened... rather, do you wonder if it matters? If no one noticed it, it's as though nothing happened.
For example: I take out the trash sometimes when no one's around. Ok, sure, I'm nice, whatever. BUT
if no one notices that it's gone, it's as though it never happened. It's as though the garbage was just that low in the can before hand. No one knows Cameron's not the lazy idiot everyone thinks he is. Siblings think they help out more than I because they let parents know they do the few things they do do. It appears that just because I am not obnoxiously outspoken about my helping out I don't do anything. And therefore it's as though I never did them because everyone believes I didn't. Mom will often just assign me more tasks because she didn't know I had already done several things. It's as though my chores didn't happen. I couldn't have done the dishes! No one else saw me! Right?
Chores aren't the only things done without recognition. How about creating things? What if you write a song, or a book, or make something, or draw a beautiful picture, and you don't show anyone? Does it have an effect on anything else in life? Does it do any good?
If anyone does anything, but no one else notices...Did it really happen?

On the other hand, does anyone need to notice it? You can know for yourself you're not a lazy good-for-nothing expensive resident of the household. (Those words were never used in describing me, so don't think my parents are actually that mean) You can know that you're a good person. You know you've got worth and that you did take out the garbage, did turn off the oven inadvertently left on, did the dishes, didwrite a song, did draw a picture. You know you're not a waste of time and space. And it's good.

Perhaps only we need to know for ourselves that we did anything good. Or, perhaps, being human, we need someone to recognize us. I don't know.

Do you?

Oh, it's not too far.

How far is "not too far," really?

Family road trips. Any distance can probably be considered too far. However, parents seemed convinced that any time before we all end up killing one another is "not too far" and we'll "be OK." Youth sitting in the back of a vehicle, with little legroom and no patience makes any distance too far. 4 hours is too far.

Just because we aren't dead doesn't mean we're OK, OK?.

Have you sat in a car with incompetent drivers for several hours (and you can't drive cause the car is rented!) with kids fighting over radio choices, the heater usually too hot and no room for 3 full-grown bodies to sit without touching one another? Have you ever had a chocolate melt all over your pants and said rented car's seats because a sibling threw it at you and you couldn't find it? All of us, I'm sure, have had unfortunate stories. Share your stories about travelling "too far." We can commiserate.

Unison

Has anyone else noticed that if giant groups of people start chanting stuff in unison is sounds really scary after a few repetitions? It's like one giant zombie voice all moaning the same thing, and no one's doing anything else. Sometimes it really creeps me out. It's mindless and I think the power of the mindless masses is a scary thing. Haha. Anything from the Pledge of Alliegiance in a giant group to an inductance ceremony to fans chanting, "Go [insert team name here]!" can sound scary if you pay attention. Try it next time you're with a bunch of people saying the same thing.


Or, maybe I'm just weird.

One of the General Populace's most common mistakes:

"I could care less"

Wait. The way that's used all the time--it doesn't make sense.
Think about it.
Don't you mean you couldn't care less?
Basically people are always saying, "Yeah, I care about that more than I should." Instead of "I don't care about that at all." Weird, huh.

"What's wrong? ... Nevermind, I could care less."
"Don't you mean you couldn't care less?"
"I could care less about your stupid grammar rules."
"I doubt it."